that's an acceptable place to lick
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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