Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
a search helicopter?!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
