don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize