There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
