doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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