We should be called the Road Head Warriors
pop tarts are not kleenex
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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