A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i barfeds in our rink
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
