Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
