There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
