You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
