So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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