Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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