God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
