so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
