Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
