Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
