im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize