i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
