We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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