woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
