i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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