Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize