you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
