i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
