I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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