Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
false alarm, still single
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
