I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
