i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize