PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
