I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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