YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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