Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
