The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize