32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
