Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
