I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
