I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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