Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
