Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Randomize