I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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