Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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