ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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