I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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