Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
