I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
