So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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