the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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