She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
