dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
