Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
