anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
