and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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