I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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