He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
