like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
