There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize