how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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