i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
