I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
