Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries http://tfl.nu/1l92
  Replies (23) Good night (879) Bad night (3805)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again http://tfl.nu/jwo1
  Replies (19) Good night (5664) Bad night (1298)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america. http://tfl.nu/700m
  Replies (16) Good night (3903) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): ...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos http://tfl.nu/7o3l
  Replies (58) Good night (1561) Bad night (2915)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up http://tfl.nu/hzs8
  Replies (10) Good night (2713) Bad night (1307)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots. http://tfl.nu/qww5
  Replies (2) Good night (1816) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+64): The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care. http://tfl.nu/n9x9
  Replies (2) Good night (1575) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Omg I think I'm in the wrong class

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning (519): Omg I think I'm in the wrong class http://tfl.nu/znqx
  Replies (11) Good night (3948) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina. http://tfl.nu/1pki
  Replies (5) Good night (1976) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you! http://tfl.nu/2ivd
  Replies (5) Good night (1727) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro http://tfl.nu/3g5k
  Replies (5) Good night (1222) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin? http://tfl.nu/wy13
  Replies (5) Good night (1384) Bad night (1141)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning http://tfl.nu/lha0
  Replies (5) Good night (1450) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too. http://tfl.nu/6z8l
  Replies (4) Good night (435) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it. http://tfl.nu/w3m4
  Replies (0) Good night (488) Bad night (158)

Randomize