Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England

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(124): View more from

Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.

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(248): View more from Michigan

guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

How did you break your hand eating pizza?

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Boxes are hard to see rocks through.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(857): View more from Massachusetts

I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!

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(713): View more from Texas

We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.

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(904): View more from Florida

Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.

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(435): View more from Utah

Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids

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(218): View more from Minnesota

You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.

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