Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
