You just made me feel so damn special
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
