i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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