Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
